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First impressions are everything so make sure you nail your online dating message. Checkout Guardian Soulmates advice on writing your first message.

But the adjustment period is the most frustrating. Once you come to peace with the person in front of you, things only get easier. Click here to learn how to tell the difference between a deal breaker and a bump in the road. Many couples split after the illusion of perfection melts away.

However, I happen to be just like you. I come into a relationship with my eyes open; maybe it's because of my particular upbringing but I see red flags left and right. Good hair days not included. Some of these lessons are harder to learn than others. Whether or not you choose to stay with him and see this play out a little longer, there IS a reason you attracted this man into your life. Ultimately, it's up to you.

Always live in choice: Every conscious learning experience we have shapes us into better versions of ourselves. I trust that whatever you choose will be the right move for you.

15 Relationship Things That Happen Once the Honeymoon Stage Ends - HelloGiggles

You begin to discuss more serious matters like families, religious views, exes, outlooks on the future, and secrets. The two of you are no longer on your best behavior. And the chemically induced rose colored glasses you wore for the first few months are long gone. No one skips over this phase. This is where you find out how to resolve disputes, and if your differences as individuals are indeed bearable. The fights and following experiences work their way into your minds, and you form opinions about each other.

You have some expectations and views about your man he too has some about you and these either bring disappointments or ecstasy.

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He does something amazing, but you were not expecting it, and this leaves you feeling like a queen. He fails your expectations at times, and you are disappointed. However, it leads you to the next stage. We never fight we have disagreements, of course, but never fights. We don't have any drama.


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We don't worry about infidelity - we trust each other completely to the point where he knows my passwords and I know his. We're both totally content to just do our own thing; we hang out, but we're also good with playing video games and ignoring each other sometimes we're both introverted and in school. We both say we're very boring, but we're also quite happy.

Happiness, trust, and compatibility are the bedrock of a long relationship, I think; the honeymoon phase might be a plus, but I don't think it's requisite. Was coming to say what you just did far more eloquently than I would. In my case it's 27 years married and still in love with the boy. I'd rather have this any day than the Hollywood version of love and attraction! Trust, no-drama, independence, chill, compatibility The opposite is too much pressure, too many heightened emotions, too much impulsivity, too much tempestuousness, just too much and ain't got time or headspace for that shit.

We met on a dating site, but there was an understanding initially that if one of my 3 major female friends at the time began pursuing me, I'd have to give it up. So we started out as friends. Well, I started spending more time with her and less with my other female friends. She was making an effort to see me, and it was paying dividends. We got more serious, my other friends dropped off the radar romantically, and now we've been together for a total of 9 years and have a beautiful little daughter. I can't imagine life without her anymore. Not everyone feels the same way about every person they date, and that's a not a bad thing - all relationships are different.

That said, you're only Hmm, I'm going to disagree with many of the posters, and it's not because you don't have "honeymoon" feelings. I agree with them that kind of infatuation is not necessary for a solid, strong relationship, and can even be detrimental in the longer term. I could have read your post entirely wrong, and thus my post may not be applicable.

However, what you've written about your feelings kind of come off to me as being more like the comfort of family rather than a significant other. There doesn't need to be any desire for melodramatic overtures or romantic getaways, but perhaps there should be at least some excitement at smaller things - seeing her the first time in a few days, going out together to a new restaurant, etc. These aren't feelings of a rush of emotions, but a subtler anticipation of experiencing different facets of life together.

Regardless of what it means to you, I wonder how it all feels to her, if she had picked up on it. I didn't think about the comfort of family thing actually, hearing it now it sounds kind of right seeing as I had a rough childhood.

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But thank you so much for writing, much appreciated. Have my two cents because I had somewhat similar thoughts to you when I met my current boyfriend at the time I was 19, so, similar age. I was very confused because while I definitely liked him and greatly enjoyed his company, my main feelings around him were totally comfort and ease rather than the normal excitement and anxiety of butterflies I associated with new relationships.


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I was confused whether this meant I didn't actually like him as much as I had other people in the past. However we've now been together a full year and are very much in love and still very comfortable with each other. The infatuation stage that I - and I think you - associate with the honeymoon stage never came.

The myth of the honeymoon phase and why this could change EVERYTHING.

I never got those massive overwhelming feelings of being super intensely in love, of not being able to stop thinking of him, of hum becoming my whole world. It was a warm, quiet feeling of love that grew gradually with time. I just felt comfortable with him - we can talk about anything, we have each other's backs, we're partners in metaphorical crime, and it's good. It's really good and I can see myself being happy in this relationship for a long time.

I think when a lot of people talk about the honeymoon period they think it has to be these intense infatuation emotions.